After Mr. Wagner’s recent personal issues, we have instituted some new health services. This new initiative, CollectiveWellness ™, will hopefully head-off some of the stress-induced health problems that can result from the long hours that many of our dedicated employees often work. We are currently in the planning stage, and it would be great if some of you could offer your suggestions on services we should include as a part of CollectiveWellness. Finally, I think I speak for everyone when I express my profound hope that Markus is able to get his situation under control. Medication levels can be difficult to determine, but we trust your doctors are doing their best. Our prayers are with you Markus.

The penthouse toilet at the Caribbean island headquarters, the Lair as we joshingly call it, was backed up recently due to an unfortunate set of events set in motion by some tuna that ran a foul. Correcting this inconvenience has the highest priority. Thus a repair team has been shifted from the Critical Health and Safety Compliance Division at our nearby industrial plant. Until these repairs are complete I recommend using the washroom next to the kitchens since the cooking staff will not be eating for the next three weeks. I hope we can all strive to put this lamentable event behind us.

As always,
Griffin Archibald Foster, III

With regards to our recent visit by a few of the fine agents working with the US Securities Exchange Commision, I would like to elucidate a few policy issues. First, it is absolutely imperative that everyone be aware that they must refuse service of process under all circumstances. Do not accept or sign any order or warrant, or authorize any search or entry of Collective Clockwork facilities, at all, whatsoever. Please direct any questions regarding this point to the office of our general counsel. Second, the new high capacity document ‘recycling’ units are now in place in the printer room adjacent to the computer and network services office. Please familiarize yourself with the operation of our new equipment as soon as possible. Thanks.

With the launch of CollectiveClockwork’s new web presence, we have positioned ourselves to dramatically increase our clients commercial footprint. Special congratulations go out to Mr. Markus Wagner for his incredible work in closing the gnuMobile account even in the face of some very serious personal issues. Excellent work.